I remember the first time I tried to talk to Ryan about him possibly having Asperger's Syndrome. We had just come back from the ill-fated therapy session where he flat out told his therapist he would not be participating that evening. He was all of 17 years old. His therapist politely told him that was okay, that she would use this time to speak to me in private, and he would sit in the waiting room and behave himself. His therapist handed me a book about Asperger's. She told me to take it home and read it, and to do my own research. I did, and I printed off 3 copies of this one explanation of AS, one for me, one for Ryan, and one for his dad and stepmom. I mailed the copy to his dad with a not asking him to read it carefully. When I gave it to Ryan, he locked himself in his room. I didn't think he would read it, but he did. His response was to open his bedroom door, throw the paper out to me, and scream very loud, "I AM NOT RETARTED!!" He was shaking and almost in tears. I asked if I could come in and talk to him. He finally let me come into his room and we talked. He asked if he could look over it again. I left him alone to read over it, and he was finally ready to talk. He said, mom, this is a lot like me. I said, I know buddy. He said, people with Asperger's is not retarted, they just have some social anxieties, and they are wired a little different. The he said, they are really smart. I responded with, yes I know. He calmed down a lot. Then I got the response from his dad. He said they were like this is Ryan......finally we knew what we were dealing with. It just took us another 5 years to get a diagnosis. There is never an easy way to talk about this with your child. I am sure in that respect, it is easier to talk about it when you get an early diagnosis. When your child is older, and doing well in school, it's hard. We were able to transition Ryan and most of our family into this without too much confusion. But, to this day we are still working on it.
Peace!
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