When I say I literally do most everything right by myself....I am not kidding.  I wake up and I have Ryan right there.  And, since I lost my job almost a month ago, I am literally with him 24/7.  I ask him ever so often if he would like to go spend a week or two with his dad in Georgia, or maybe a long weekend.  I always get the same response.....  I'll think about it.  Nothing yet.  It's hard.  I love him so much, but I would like to just have to worry about me for a few days.  It's much easier when I have a job.  Most folks want to go home for a break from their job....me.....I'll stay at my job, just for a break from home.

I just get these guilt feeling when I leave Ryan at home.  I guess that is normal for us Aspie moms.  I know when I am working, I get out of the house.  However, Ryan doesn't get out unless I take him out.  I am still working on programs for him, but he is not having any of it.  I went for a walk down to my brother's house the other afternoon.  Him and his wife invited me to stay for dinner and asked me to have Ryan walk down to eat with us too.  Well wouldn't you know........Ryan says no.  I brought him home food, but still......  I feel guilty if I don't include Ryan, but feel guilty when he doesn't want to participate and I do.  I have to find that balance again.

Ryan has an eye doctor's appointment today.  I'm sure I will have a story to tell about that.  ;-)

Peace!